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Januari 01, 2012

New Year: Changes

Happy new year! I wish we all will have a great year ahead, amin... I spent my new year eve at home (in Bandung), watching EPL matches (MU vs Blackburn and Chelsea vs Aston Villa. MU lost, and so did Chelsea. What a dreadful result for Chelsea to end 2011). I didn't see any fireworks, I only heard them. Quite disturbing for sleeping people... But it's okay. NYE is really the time for playing around with fireworks. How's your NYE, people?

I'm already in Jakarta. I still have a week holiday. Uhm nothing much to do, maybe it's gonna be a boring week... I still can't use my laptop, so for some time I use my Mom's old laptop.

So. 2012. I'm sure some people already have plans what will they do, and some other just go with the flow. I have plans, and I really wish I can accomplish them successfully.

New year, new hopes, new opportunities. One thing that I'm sure will happen: changes. Changes... in anything. Not everything, but I'm sure there are some changes that can totally change me this year. It's a year that I call the start of masa peralihan. I'm going to university this year, Insya Allah. Being a campus girl, for me, is a phase where you transform from girl into woman. From a spoiled kid into an independent woman. From a whiny kid into a brave woman. This year's gonna be crucial. I have to know what I really want in future, what I really want to do in future. Up to now, January first, I'm still not sure.

Talk about changes, I've changed my goals a lot. When I was a kindergarten kid, I wanted to be a teacher. I thought it's fun to be a teacher. I observed what my teachers did: they only taught us to read, to draw, to speak, to sing, and they often took us to many fun places. It's easy and fun! But of course those are what kindergarten teachers do. Not what elementary teachers do.

My want to be a teacher disappeared when I was a third grader. I found that being a teacher was not that fun and not that easy (especially when a teacher had to handle some naughty kids). In my age at that time, I already found my interest in science, especially science about universe. I read my Childcraft encyclopedia about The Universe, although I didn't understand (it's in English). I just looked at the pictures... and they're amazing. I read another book in Indonesia and from them I knew that knowledge about the universe (planets, stars, quasars, etc) is called astronomy, and people who actually learn about it seriously and whose job is observing sky are called astronomer. I wanted to be one of them. I really wanted to be an astronomer. I knew that it's a very high dream. But then I made it even higher: I wanted to be an astronomer in NASA.

In junior high school, I got more knowledge about everything. I got another interest. I really like detective-thriller TV shows like NCIS, CSI, Bones. I knew CSI first, when I was a seventh grader. I thought the CSI are COOL! Not only the CSI but also the scientist who processed the evidences (I still think they are cool)! Since then I wished I could be a scientist who processed the evidences from crime scene. My previous wish to became an astronomer slowly disappeared, but I still loved astronomy at that time (I still love it now).

Nah. In senior high school.... I became more labile. Padahal mestinya gue udah mesti tahu apa yang gue mau. Gue kira seperti tahun-tahun sebelumnya, cita-cita gue bakal berubah lagi. Tapi ternyata, gue malah cenderung balik ke cita-cita gue sebelumnya.

Mulai dari cita-cita gue yang paling awal: jadi guru. Keinginan gue buat jadi guru sempet hilang karena menurut gue pas itu, ternyata jadi guru itu nggak sesuai dengan bayangan gue. Nah sekarang di SMA, gue nemu guru-guru yang beda jauh sama guru-guru gue sebelum mereka. They're smart -of course- and they're the coolest teachers I've ever known. One of them is an author, translator, and likes going to music concerts (from SUEDE concert to Super Junior concert!) and traveling. Another one is super duper smart, likes traveling and I guess he has plan to visit Maldives (I recently spotted him browsing tickets to Maldives). The other ones are cool also in their own way. By looking at them and how they behave as teachers, it made me thought, hey... I could be a cool teacher also. My teachers look enjoying their job. I see they look so happy... I like what my like-going-to-concert teacher does: she teaches, she writes, she travels. If my passion to become a teacher is THAT big, maybe I would sign to be 78 SHS international teacher. Physics teacher. Ha ha ha ha. But really, I doubt I have that much passion to become a teacher. So I guess... it's just... an option.

Then to my next big dream: be an astronomer. I love astronomy. If people can only be happy because they do what they like, then I should be live very happily if I become an astronomer. I considered this as another option. But then I knew that my parent (especially my Mom) wouldn't let me choose astronomy in university. So.... good bye, dream? Maybe if I couldn't be a pro, I could be an amateur...

Then to my another big dream: be a crime scene scientist. Again, it's kind of strange dream and I'm sure that my Mom wouldn't allow me hahahaha but my Dad, he likes watching the detectives TV shows too so I guess he could understand this dream. But I don't know what major to take. Anyone knows?

I realize that I still don't know what I really want. But I know what I like. My first option right now is Teknik Industri. Although I'm still labile but somehow I think this major fits me. Basically I like physics, but I don't like it that much (I avoid electricity and electromagnetism). I don't want to learn physics that deep. I like management but I don't want to get into business and management. The things is I don't have plan if later I graduate from TI. People say, just go with flow... It's true but it's still my concern. Some part of me refuse to work in office, as an employee. Some part of me say that it doesn't matter what job would I get because if I apply for that job, of course I already have interest to it and if I work hard and good, I'll survive and happy. Ya Allah, please lead me to a right path....

Mungkin sedetik lagi ada hal menarik lain yang muncul di kepala gue. Mungkin sedetik kemudian bisa berubah lagi. Mestinya gue udah nggak boleh bingung-bingung lagi, waktunya udah mepet banget. Tapi yah gimana... Lebih baik bimbang sekarang kan daripada pas udah kadung masuk kuliah malah nggak betah. Ini krusial. Tahun ini krusial. Nggak cuma keinginan gue yang bisa berubah-ubah tahun ini. Seperti yang gue bilang di awal, tahun ini pasti banyak yang berubah. Gaya hidup gue nanti pas kuliah, teman-teman bergaul gue nanti... Yang mungkin nanti bikin cara berfikir gue berubah, cara belajar gue berubah, sampai hal-hal kecil kayak how do I dress up... Perubahan yang pasti bikin gue sedih nggak jelas ya pasti perubahan lokasi tempat tinggal. Kemungkinan besar kuliah gue ngekos, nggak sama Mama deh. See, I'm still a spoiled kid. Gue ngerasa masih belom siap sama segala perubahan-perubahan ini. Huft. Selamat menuju masa peralihan ya, Rizk.

Yaudahlah sekarang yang penting belajar dulu. Semangat semua angkatan 2012!

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